when people are that subtle kind of greedy (the behind-the-eyes, toothy-smiled kind) you remember the animal part never really goes away, it just gets hidden behind the clothes and the car keys and the lattes. and when you see it, it’s that turned-stomach feeling, the same one you get when you hear the screeching violins in a horror movie.

hi one time this song came on the end credits of a movie that was in italian on tv in buenos aires in 2008, and i had an emotional breakdown on the wooden floor of our apartment.

yo no quise ni quiero nada para mi.

ps it is my dead grandma's birthday tomorrow. so i am going to go the house where she grew up in jackson heights and i am going to leave her a manhattan on the sidewalk.

i chopped off like two inches of my hair yesterday in a chinatown basement, and now i feel free from the tyranny of coat collars. i also had an entire conversation with the chinese, non-english-speaking woman who cut my hair, and now i feel free from the tyranny of words.

i wish people wouldn't ring the doorbell.

in other news, yesterday was weird, and i wish it was tomorrow in england already so i could internet-steal the next episode of downton abbey.

there are two kinds of awkward people; the first is inherently, unwittingly awkward. the second, meanwhile, over-corrects any action he or she believes could even remotely be perceived as awkward by others; in other words, a self-fulfilling prophecy. i belong to the latter tribe!