we be from the planet funkotron

ahhh the wonders of sega genesis. i almost broke down and bought a console when i was in argentina as there are many floating around the ferias, but toejam and earl was the deal breaker for me. yes, i may have found sonic the hedgehog and aladdin, but after a painstaking and unsuccessful search for the original tj&e i just couldn't bring myself to do it. what an amazing game...so pointless, so fun. the elevator jamz were the best, and who could forget the seizure-inducing neon backgrounds? in case you've opted (for whatever unacceptable reason) to not watch the video above, i will give you a play-by-play of the dialogue between three-legged blinged out toejam and borderline morbidly obese earl, who appear to be based on a loose representation of george and lennie from of mice and men:

tj: greetings. my name is toejam, and this here is my bro big rappin' earl. (here we see the stereotypical alien use of 'greetings' as a convo starter)
earl: yo, wha'sup. (nice one earl)
tj: earl and myself are highly funky aliens from outer space. (really? why would you refer to yourselves as aliens? even if i had crash-landed on a planet, i would never consider myself an alien.)
earl: outerspace. (such a simple man, earl.)
tj: more specifically, we are from the planet funkotron. (best planet name EVER. if for some reason i one day rule the world, i will officially change earth's name to this.)
earl: funkotron! (whoa whoa whoa there big fella, don't get too excited!)
tj: thank you, earl. (toejam's sassy side) check this out (i think i will)--this is our highly funkly, ultra cool, righteous rapmaster rocketship (nice use of aliteration.) notice the megawatt speakers (oh i have...ultimate jamming capabilities.) with which earl and i have been known to crank out some extremely funky tunes. (i believe it.) crank it earl! (earl proceeds to crank it.) recently we ran into a small problem.
earl: problem. (i don't know if earl is confirming what tj has just stated, or whether he is baffled by the meaning of the word.)
tj: we were cruisin' in our rocket, thumpin' out to a funky beat, (naturally) when big earl said he'd like a shot in the driver's seat...(fatal mistake, toejam, fatal mistake.) you should never let earl drive. (duh.) yo, so here we are, chillin' out on the most insane planet (which looks like earth, by the way) in the galaxy, planet earth! (this is most definitely not planet earth.) thanks to earl...all we have to do now, is find the 10 pieces of our rocketship, and we can jet outta here. no problem. (um, yes, big problem. you are stoner aliens looking for your ship scattered around a foreign planet. it's like a more extreme version of 'dude, where's my car?'. and why you wanna be jettin' outta here if it's the most insane planet in the galaxizzle?)
earl: no problem. (this just confirms that you have a very very big problem on your hands. lucky for you i am here to help you.)

i repeat, best game ever. here's a track inspired by sega called megadrive by me gusta.