okay so just theoretically if i do decide to leave my life of free-loading off my mom, what exactly would my next career move be? well, i've thought about this pretty substantially and here's what i've got so far:
1) open up a transformers themed restaurant in which we principally serve optimus prime rib with bumblebeer. should be popular in the nerd community, and nerds sometimes have jobs that pay well. this could lead to a steady cash flow, and/or the opportunity to marry up.
2) finally produce prayerobics, the next craze in exercise. basically it will launch the strenuous sunday morning mass routine into a structured and effective fitness plan, including the sit-stand-kneel-somersault pattern typical of catholocism. the first volume will be called "sweatin' to the old testament". however, richard simmons will likely be an opponent of my program, meaning i will have to fight him to the death. and who knows how much power that afro holds.
3) invent something useful like a remote control pager. i'm told this has already been invented, but i don't own one yet so i don't believe it. if it existed i would totally buy thirty and page remotes all day. actually, that might be a better plan. buy the said existing remote control pagers, page everyone's lost remotes, hold them hostage, and charge money for their safe return.
i think these all represent a pretty solid start to my future.
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