i will have this apartment please okay thanks

relaxing voices installment 2: isabel telleria

and kind of ana torrent, but mostly the one on the left. ana torrent's lack of front teeth give her whispers a borderline annoying whistle.

if television were up to me i would nerd it out

my favourite channel in america is pbs, mostly because it compiles cooking shows, travel documentaries, nerd biographies, british comedies, masterpiece theater tear-jerkers, international news shows and weird nature specials into one convenient place (added bonus: it's okay if i lose the remote). so if tv were up to me, i would definitely make it more educational (read: nerdier). for instance, i would take some of the most brain melting shows and turn them into:

• punk'd(uation): i'd throw out ashton kutcher and replace him with stephen hawking or that guy ken who won jeopardy all the time, and then i'd set up elaborate grammar-based pranks that largely involve incorrectly used punctuation marks.
• the jersey 'lore: chuck the guidos and bring in some folklore experts to tell us all about the magical beings that are thought to reside specifically in new jersey. special guest: the jersey devil. and/or snooki.
  
• my super sweet sistine: my personal favourite, we'd hit up the vatican city to see just how jewel-encrusted the pope's life is. word on the street is they've got a range rover with a state-of-the-art gps that can get you to god and back in sixty seconds or less, depending on the traffic.

*yes i do realize that all of these ideas come from mtv shows. so thanks, mtv, you're doing great things for american youth. more music videos, please.

...and so let's go here instead yeah?

he just realized it was summer...

i like how their shoes sound

my grandparents if they were japanese

in real life there is no real life

anthem du jour

in love not limbo-of oceans

beatz and bleepz

remixed thanksgiving was a fail, but remixed beatz and bleepz is always a win. asi que i've decided to devote this edition to remixes since i've neglected to do so over the past few weeks. jason cox must've been getting in my brain. here you go:

dancing with the dj (monsieur adi rmx)-the knocks
indestructible (a-trak rmx)-robyn
castle in the snow (com truise rmx)-twin shadow
believer (little loud rmx)-goldfrapp
invincible (snow picnic rmx)-nightwaves
niton (treasure fingers rmx)-eric prydz
bulletproof (glasnost rmx)-la roux
jack (moullinex rmx)-herr styler

is this how people in florida feel?

ex-pat thanksgiving in argentina was weird and i didn't like it. it felt like one of those monkeys that gets dressed up like a person so that you almost forget it's a monkey except for all the fur and then you remember. it was like that and there was this man i don't know his name but he was sitting there with his face all blue from the televisions and his napkin was tucked into his shirt collar and his mouth was full and kind of half-open. he was kind of slouched over with his fork in the air and i knew he didn't even know what he was doing or eating or anything and so i got out of there and ate a hamburger instead. i also stopped traffic to help an old man cross the street because i was feeling generally pretty good about being american and/or alive. well it took us about two hours to cross the street and his arm skin was really loose. it felt like a waterbed. we walked so slowly that it felt like time was stopping and i think maybe it did for a minute but you can never be sure of those things. and also i kept feeling like i wanted to yell at people and shake them and say "IT'S THANKSGIVING!!!" only i didn't do it. it was the same feeling i get when i walk into a glassware store where i feel like i might break something because i can imagine myself doing it and i can see how the plate would look smashed on the floor. THE END.

anthem du jour

sur la planche-la femme

anthem du jour

ohhh symbolone. we meet again in a fantastic electronic burst of awesomeness via your remix of dvas's 'ambient room':

the soundtrack to melting part deux

i must say, i'm not the biggest fan of a back-to-back summer. and when i say "not the biggest fan", what i really mean is "HATE HATE HATE". what i wouldn't give to sport sweaters and coats and gloves, and drive in twenty degree weather with all the windows down. i really think there's something wrong with me in that regard, slash i think i am going to have to move to scandinavia or russia or some other freezing cold place to permanently beat the heat. in any case, while you are (probably) shivering away in the united states, i am sweating my face off in sunny argentina. to cope, i've been eating a lot of ice cream and listening to jamz like this:

dreaming-seapony
memories-waldeck
closer now-club 8
lord boyd-space jordan 96
everywhere-teen daze
hamilton road-ducktails
1988-youandewan
where is the problem-dunian
in the red-estate

anthem du jour part deux

i go deep-jim rivers (you know why)

anthem du jour

the opening bit of this song reminds me of the sound that slot machines make. which is highly relevant to my life since i somehow ended up playing roulette at 4:30 this morning in the buenos aires racetrack casino. and what a magically depressing place it was.

beatz and bleepz: the mosquitoes edition

i have spent the last week or so combating giant prehistoric mosquitoes. judging by the number of welts on my arms and legs, i have to conclude they're winning at present. i'm very seriously considering using deet as hairspray for a two-pronged attack on 1) my slightly unruly hair, and 2) the little flying hypodermic needle bloodsuckers more commonly known as "anopheles quadrimaculatus". in the meantime, i will dance my face off to prevent further bug bites. at least, i think that is one of the healing properties of disco...

norboru-lebatman
indigo-hemingway
into the night-azari & III
i want blood-small pyramid
stratosphere-digitalism
eskimo boy-strange talk
squaring the triangle-rimer london
tired-morose

obligatory pop chune fix:
elevator-sky ferreira

please welcome, jesus christ LIZARD

hey remember that time that oprah narrated that show 'life'? i kept expecting her to introduce the animals like this: "please welcome thaaaaaa WILD-A-BEAAAAAAST!" or "please welcome beluga WHAAAAAAAAALE!" she didn't do it like that though, hence i lost respect for her narrating capabilities. but the best animal i saw on that show that didn't even need oprah to give it a tom-cruise-tastic welcome was the jesus christ lizard. it is the most hilarious thing i have ever seen, and i can't watch this clip without laughing:



THE END. may the force of the jesus christ lizard be with you.

FRENCH STEREOTYPES

all true.

sam anders, you are a dreamboat

anthem du jour part deux

ctrw scaling (demo)-charlie alex march

Ctrw Scaling (demo) by charlie alex march

anthem du jour

just the same but brand new-st. vincent

anthem du jour

closer now-club 8

beatz and bleepz: the eff creamfields edition

i can't believe it's already time for another batch of weekend jamz...i'm going to have to work overtime to get my dose of electro this weekend as i'm boycotting creamfields, aka a gigantic electronica festival located on the outskirts of buenos aires. i went the last time i was here and had a mind-blowingly amazing time, but this year the lineup blows. the only name i was excited to see was pendulum, but that just doesn't tip the balance. alas, i'll have to save my energy until hot festival. but that doesn't mean i'm going to cool it with the beatz over the next forty-eight hours:

targa-russ chimes
sunbeam-spencer & hill
one in a million-data
works for me-the twelves
this space-royksopp
warchief-mille
moments of excellence-black van
girls will be girls-teen
easy love-mstrkrft

amelie i wish you were real life

wind. and black and white. and wind.

anthem du jour

dreaming-seapony

can i just say...

being in a foreign non-english speaking country makes me incredibly appreciative of being able to say exactly what i want when i'm at home. words are quite possibly the most important thing to me; in fact, they're all i have. THE END.

anthem du jour part deux

everywhere-teen daze

paris versus new york

anthem du jour

1988-youandewan

anthem du jour

waterfall-the fresh and onlys

beatz and bleepz

i woke up this morning wearing a red wristband that just says "hip hop culture club". which makes me imagine a lot of things. a lot of awesome things. many of which involve boy george. anyway, this alleged "culture club" was pretty much the most hilarious place i've ever been; it's full of argentines who stand around trying to look super street, blinged out to the max and sporting apparel they must've seen on mtv or some shit. the saving grace was when die antwoord came on for all of one minute, but otherwise i was pretty over it. guess i'm not gangsta enuf yo. i'll aim for electro next time, yeah? in the meantime, here we go go go:

locate-opptimo
malfunction-louis la roche
sunlight-bag raiders
tiny pants-the alpha snail
phoenix down-stealth mode
shrimps-homeboi
stereohype-phinz
crooked piano-the 666 order

wwsrd? what would slayter rachel do?

details here.