if television were up to me i would nerd it out

my favourite channel in america is pbs, mostly because it compiles cooking shows, travel documentaries, nerd biographies, british comedies, masterpiece theater tear-jerkers, international news shows and weird nature specials into one convenient place (added bonus: it's okay if i lose the remote). so if tv were up to me, i would definitely make it more educational (read: nerdier). for instance, i would take some of the most brain melting shows and turn them into:

• punk'd(uation): i'd throw out ashton kutcher and replace him with stephen hawking or that guy ken who won jeopardy all the time, and then i'd set up elaborate grammar-based pranks that largely involve incorrectly used punctuation marks.
• the jersey 'lore: chuck the guidos and bring in some folklore experts to tell us all about the magical beings that are thought to reside specifically in new jersey. special guest: the jersey devil. and/or snooki.
  
• my super sweet sistine: my personal favourite, we'd hit up the vatican city to see just how jewel-encrusted the pope's life is. word on the street is they've got a range rover with a state-of-the-art gps that can get you to god and back in sixty seconds or less, depending on the traffic.

*yes i do realize that all of these ideas come from mtv shows. so thanks, mtv, you're doing great things for american youth. more music videos, please.