the art of rick rolling for modern times

how many of you have been rick rolled in your lifetime? i have been rick rolled on multiple occasions. it can be a frustrating experience if you don't enjoy rick astley's smash hit "never gonna give you up"; fortunately i enjoy the song, so being rr'd hasn't driven me to the edge of insanity yet. YET. but if you feel you're teetering on the verge of a mental breakdown due to incessant rick rolls, i'm here to tell you how to take back control.



personally i'm getting pretty bored with the standard youtube rick rolls; it's 2011, and we need to go bigger and better. so, here are some methods i've created to shake the dust off the art of rick rolling and kick it up a notch.

for my first modern take on the rick roll, i suggest you do some research to find your enemies' work email addresses. create your own false email address (gmail is a no-brainer, but feel free to get more creative) and develop a sophisticated alter-ego; this means you'll need a fancy name, perhaps a monocle, handlebar mustache, money-filled tophat and of course, a pitch. message your victims from the POV of this wealthy alter-ego and describe your problem that for some reason can only be solved by an entry-level recent college graduate. is it logical? no. but will your enemy fall for it? well let's see...they're poor, narcissistic and dying for a promotion...so basically the answer is: absolutely. keep the emails up until you're completely positive your target has taken the bait. hopefully you've gotten coworkers (ideally the boss) involved at this point, too. then, when it comes to discussing the details of the project or monetary compensation, point them in the direction of a helpful youtube video and then BAM! rick roll the shit out of them. rickvenge, if you will.

and who says rick rolling has to stay confined to a computer screen in the first place? my second updated method of the rick roll can be used in any variety of real life situations. i suggest you use it to your advantage when you're in a bad spot, like a rapidly tanking job interview. simply continue your dialogue calmly and once you've reached a mid-sentence point, leap out of your chair and belt out "never gonna give you up"; throw in some dance moves as you seamlessly head for the door. this method can similarly be applied to any number of social interactions gone horribly wrong, i.e. stand-up comedy routines, speeches, breakups, awkward silences, etc.

in a nutshell, the rick roll was invented to make a fool out of you, me and rick astley. but i think i've demonstrated that you can save your dignity (and mine and rick astley's) by taking matters into your own hands. new motto? 2011: the year of the rick roll. because we're never gonna give you up, rick astley. never.