peace be with you...? or something like that.

maureen tricked me into going to church with her last night in georgetown. it was pretty much the worst but i had to go because she said it was either that or no thai food and so i said okay. and so we walked up and we were late and maureen thinks she saw the exorcist or a ghost or maybe somebody's shadow that fell off like that one time in peter pan but i didn't see it so i don't even really know.

there was some kid sitting in front of me and he was that kind of kid that stares at you the whole time and it makes you want to punch everyone in the face but instead you stare at the ceiling and out the windows and maybe that's how god feels during mass too. if i were god i would feel like that.

and then there's the part where strangers try to hold your hand because they think it makes the prayers work better like when you put aluminum foil on a tv antenna or like a seance only probably not because god would be pissed if he thought you were doing a seance. i like to pretend like my hands got chopped off in an industrial accident instead. but then there's people who stand by themselves and hold their arms out like they're holding invisible hands and it's really annoying because they're like those kids in class who are like look at me i know the answer and i have braces too.

and then peace be with you time. that is the worst part. you have to tell people you don't even know "peace be with you" but you don't even really know for sure if you want peace to be with them because they could be a real asshole but suddenly because they're in church you have to tell them things you don't even really mean. and then you have to shake their hands too which i don't even understand why you do that except maybe it's like an award but then where is the certificate if that's true.

and you have to pray for all these people you don't know but someone wrote their names down in this book so you have to do it. but then you look around and no one is even paying attention anyways. and what is the difference between praying and wishing. maybe it's like an election where i didn't vote but that guy lost by one vote and now i'm supposed to feel pretty bad. THE END.