chronicling a compulsive liar part four.

"i removed all sources of calcium from my diet around the time of my eleventh birthday. i'd heard a lack of calcium-rich foods was a suspected cause of the degenerative bone disease osteoporosis; birds' bones are hollow and well-suited for flight, and as i hoped to one day acquire the ability to levitate, i made a conscious decision to try to lower my bone density by any means possible. this has been an ongoing process, and there are a variety of other elements that i've been concentrating on to achieve my goal, but i can confidently say that i am quite close to being the first non-magical human capable of auto-aviation."