talks you have when you're a proper pauper.

me: so it's just you and me this month.
brain: ...what do you mean by "just you and me"...
me: i mean you, plus me, minus everyone and everything else.
brain: but like...what about alcohol? what about cigarettes? or what about pecan pie, she can't be THAT busy?
me: nope. they're all being held hostage by the bills currently.
brain: oh well that's easy enough...why don't you just rescue them by setting the bills on fire like that one scene from RENT?
me: it doesn't really work like that in real life.
brain: pffffft. yeah, real life...like that's even a thing.
me: i know, right?
me: but seriously. it's just you and me.