just a little preview...

...of my next amazingly ridiculous interview with electric tickle machine. emailed questions slash dialogue are/is as followz:

So this first one isn't really a question, but just like, tell me
everything. I guess that's a little broad. If you're not comfortable
with telling me everything, tell me how the year 1988 went for you?
That's when I was born. And if you're not comfortable indulging me
with information regarding my birth year, why don't you just tell me
about the tour? Are you so excited? I am.

So like, are you wearing right now?

Have you ever had to sneeze while you've been performing? What about
hiccups? What do you do in that situation? If you said no, have you
prepared at all for this scenario? If not, I think you probably
should. Anything is possible.

Are you guys still reading slash answering these questions? Okay good.
So this next one is a really tricky one, because I am going to ask you
to make up your own question and then answer it. It's an opportunity
for you to say what you've always wanted to but haven't been able to
since no one has asked you before.

If you were to take me on a date (don't worry, I'm attractive in a
non-threatening way) where would we go? And in the reverse, what would
your dream date scenario be? Like, who would you want to take you on a
date (besides me, obviously) and what would you guys do? Build
sandcastles in the sky? *Hint: that is what I would want to do on our
date...

On that note, which of you guys is the best in the sack? Who is the
worst? Are you lying? I hope not, this is serious.

What's your band mascot? Do you have one? Are you thinking about
getting one? What would it be? So many questions, I know.

I like your website. Are you planning to build a pyramid like that on
the moon? Have you considered the gravitational setbacks of
implementing a project like that? Also, side note, the moon is and has
been moving away from Earth for quite some time now. It has moved 60
cm away from Earth since I was born. One day in 4 billion years it's
just going to peace out entirely. And then the average Earth day will
last (are you ready for this?) 45 days! Think about that.

What is a magical and/or mystical creature that you wish was for real?
Slash, what magical and/or mystical creature have you been told is
nonexistent but really you've just never seen yet because it's so
elusive and magical?

If you could have a robot, like any robot at all, what would it do for
you? (This is a trick question. Everyone knows that robots will be the
downfall of society. Robots and Dakota Fanning. <---those are
synonymous, by the way...)

Do you guys have any weird allergies that ruin your life? I don't yet,
but I sometimes feel that one day I'll become allergic to nuts or
something I really love eating. Or maybe be allergic to a person I
really admire. Like I'd finally get to meet Lionel Richie and realize
I'm allergic, and my life would subsequently be ruined.

Thanks for (maybe) answering all/some of these questions. You are all
invited to my birthday party on January 9th. You think I'm joking but
I am so serious.