"what do you want to do?"

so in one final (i hope) attempt to make me turn back around and be a lawyer or something, my mother has taken the time to create a life questionnaire for me. no but really. she wrote it out on a piece of lined paper. that was a nice surprise to receive at 8:30 this morning. but i thought that maybe you would like to figure out what you are doing with your life, too, so i've decided to post said life questionnaire here for you to fill out at your own leisure. here, i'll even do it right now:

1. what do you want to do?

geez, maureen...you get straight to the point, huh? and what do i want to do? so many things but most of them involve styling bailey's hair into a mohawk and/or putting bugles on my fingertips so it looks like i have claws.

2. what are the steps you have to take now to get there?

wait, i know this one! it's like...what is it...you put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your left foot in and you shake it all about...JUST KIDDING! i know those are the steps to get to the hokey pokey. but in all seriousness, i have to take steps towards the grocery store so i can pick up a bag of bugles.

3. are you going to argentina because it fills a gap, looks cool, or allows you to move?

yes, all of the above. but mostly because it looks cool. i only ever do things that make me look cool.

4. how will it further your future?

this one is oddly worded. next, please.

5. can you honestly afford it?

mo' money mo' problems, maureen.

6. are there things in your life that are preventing you from achieving goals or holding you back? physically, spiritually, emotionally?

i shall give you a hint. her name starts with "m" and ends with "aureen". give up? okay fine, it's you. physically, spiritually, emotionally.

7. picture your life in 5 years--where you live, what you do, how much you want to earn...

i want to live inside ikea like a modern-day from the mixed up files of mrs. basil e. frankweiler. my career will consist of breaking guinness world records and detangling christmas lights. i would like to be paid in gum and also wishing coins from the bottoms of fountains.

8. how do you get there?

i expect they'll have worked out the logistics of teleportation in five years, but should i be proven incorrect, my backup mode of transportation will most certainly be riding banthas and/or coattails.

9. can you get established here in something and then go take a long vacay in argentina?

no. but i give you bonus points for writing 'vacay'.

10. insurance?

no thanks.

11. SUPER BONUS: who played michelle on full house better? mary-kate or ashley?

mary-kate, duh!

THE END. so do you know what you want to do now? this really helped me and i bet it will help you too. i am going to spend the rest of the day making venn diagrams and flow charts to demonstrate these concepts more clearly. this is my life plan, and yes it is set in stone.

*ps, i made up question 11 but i would have liked it if maureen had taken the time to ask my opinion on the matter.