welcome to the oc bitch

hangovers provide the perfect conditions for watching back to back episodes of things like laguna beach and the oc. i know this because i'm doing it right now. and i've made a decision. whenever anyone asks me "what are you doing here?" or "so what's your story?" (people ask me these questions ALL the time, too), i'm going to reply with the following ryan atwood monologue: "i stole a car. crashed it. actually, my brother did. since he had a gun and drugs on him, he's in jail. i got out, and my mom threw me out. she was pissed off and drunk. so, mr. cohen took me in." except instead of mr. cohen, i'm probably going to substitute like, kathy griffin or heidi & spencer pratt or maybe that british guy from the magic bullet commercials. i think people will be really impressed with my fabricated dangerous past. as long as marissa cooper doesn't come back from the dead to foil my plan, i think it's going to have really positive results for me.