remember when they simultaneously killed marissa cooper AND the oc AND mischa barton's career, all in one fell swoop? i do, i do. today i stumbled upon an amazing and creepy facebook group that is dedicated to preserving the memory of marissa cooper. the author of the group poses an interesting question: "why does everyone seem to be getting over it?" well, i don't know...it could have something to do with the fact that she's not a real person, but maybe that's just me. by the way, i'm pretty sure whoever made this group is foreign and/or slow-brained. he or she refers to marissa as a hero several times...i'm pretty sure that's the last word i'd use to describe marissa cooper. she constantly gets herself into situations that require rescuing, which is the opposite of a hero. except i guess she did shoot ryan's brother that one time, but aside from that she mostly failed in the heroics department. besides, i think imogen heap was the real hero in that situation. anyways, the author of this group goes on to blame taylor (i think that's the one with all the school spirit? i stopped watching after season 2...really anything past the first appearance of crazy oliver in season 1 is a waste of time) for marissa's death, listing a zillion oddly worded points to support the claim. oh, and let's not forget the haiku-esque situation, which i will reproduce here:
"she loved him...she loved him but she had to say goodbye..they didn't forget...Ryan saved her once and he wasn't meant to save her again...maybe the parallel universe will always know what we can't..and it's just for us to accept...We love her, but she will always be there..never forgotton...she wasn't meant to live..that was how it was meant to be..in his arms, the 'I love you' unanswered..Marissa..."
so what can we learn from all this? well, first of all, avoid whoever the eff created this group. but you know what? i had a brilliant idea. are you ready? let's petition for a spinoff series to accomplish the following: 1) revive marissa, 2) revive mischa barton's career, and 3) see 1 and 2. and just what would this series feature? the plot is very simple. marissa cooper comes back as a zombie who is just trying to make it in LA. blind dates and drama and brain consumption ensue. natasha bedingfield could do a catchy theme song, something along the lines of "and your brain is still unbitten..." i mean, it's genius right? they wouldn't even need to hire a makeup person since mischa barton's already at least halfway towards looking the part. i think this could really take off because let's face it...vampires and werewolves are getting old. zombies could definitely be the new "it" creatures. let me know if anyone feels like investing in this project...it'll be pretty low-budget considering mischa barton would probably be cool with getting paid in urban outfitters coupons and cigarettes. and all she has to do is get super drunk the night before filming, which fits in perfectly with her lifestyle. just come in super hungover looking like death, shuffle around slowly, minimal dialogue with lots of groaning sounds...it's like her fucking dream job. and there we go. i just solved all mischa barton's problems.
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