nicorette advertisement fail

have you ever seen that commercial? if you're not paying close attention, as many television enthusiasts aren't, you probably thought that nicorette made a great point. this man is so addicted to cigarettes that he doesn't even know he's being attacked by a great white shark (who apparently is toothless, because i'm pretty sure he'd have already ripped that arm off and/or pulled that guy into the water after ten seconds...) and what an idiot he must be for smoking. okay, all cigarette politics aside, let's think about this logically.

when the nicorette kicks in and the idiot man is suddenly brought back to reality, he in fact starts panicking and screaming "shark" over and over. because clearly if there were bystanders available to help him, they would not already know that the giant aquatic carnivore attached to his arm was a shark. but anyways, the commercial ends with the man still flailing his arm around trying to get the shark off. he can't do it, so he doesn't fucking escape.

okay, again, let's think about what all of this means. i don't know about you, but if there were a giant fucking shark biting off my god damn arm and there was no chance to escape, even after repeatedly punching it in the nose (as we are always told works, and as this man attempts to do and fails miserably at...), i would probably want to be in the pre-nicorette state of mind. you know, a painless trance where all you can think about is taking a drag of a cigarette, not about a huge alien fish having you for a snack.

what does all of this tell us? well, first of all it reinforces our hatred for sharks, possibly the most misunderstood species on earth (thanks popular culture...not that i'm trying to save them...they're terrifying...). second of all, it tells us that nicorette might help you quit smoking, but it also brings you back to a terribly unpleasant reality with no hope for escape, as well as the possibility of limb loss and/or death. so next time you think about purchasing nicorette for yourself or a loved one, think twice. ps the moral of the story is also that the nicorette advertising department sucks, so they should hire me instead. i need health insurance. k bye.