today i went on an improvised adventure (whatever that means, i thought it sounded good) on route 1, aka the bit of highway that god forgot about circa 1977? it's totally shit which is exactly why i liked adventuring there...i think it's safe to say i'm enticed by mediocrity. i got an ice cream cone (the swirly kind, naturally) and then proceeded to purchase some lp's which i expect will be terrible in the best way possible. one was edith piaf, so that's solid, but the other two included 'polish dance hits' and 'music for dining'. because i would like to know how polish people dance and also what the ideal music to listen to whilst dining entails. does the dining music make you want to eat more? eat less? talk more? talk less? we shall see.
fast-forward to my return journey in which i stopped at a harris teeter to pick up groceries for maureen. the good news is that i got the proper materials to make myself some prosciutto and melon for dinner, because it is roughly 274 degrees farenheit outside and i can't imagine eating anything else. the bad news is slightly longer. first of all, harris teeter is mad expensive and it's not even that good. i blame the free cookies they provide upon entrance...that was a stupid idea, harris teetards...people eat the cookies, and then subsequently are less hungry. as a result, they purchase less food. as a result, you lose money. and you also had to spend money to make those cookies, even if they are of poor quality. ALSO, you are simultaneously contributing to the financial strain on americans AND the obesity problem. because let's face it, if fat people have the option of going to a store that provides free cookies as opposed to one that doesn't, they will pick the cookies every time guaranteed. so thanks for ruining america you assholes. i bet you're funding terrorists, too. oh AND you employ creepy cashiers and your checkout lines make no sense. i made a point to avoid the cashier i got today, but to no avail. so if you insist on being expensive, at least hire normal people who aren't terrifying. THE END.
oh, right, the song. well, all day i mostly just listened to blackbird blackbird. because when it's so hot out that you start feeling like YOU are a mirage, dreamy soundtracks help. so here's his song called 'summer heart'. and what the hell, for talking so much (assuming you read all of the above...it's okay if you didn't so long as you don't work for harris teeter in which case i hope you took notes...) i'll throw in his cover of 'float on'.
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